Edited by Eric

Chapter 39

I, the American retail-wearing British vampire Ebony, coughed up blood.

Satan kneeled down beside me.

"No! Don't die!"

I gave him a rueful smile. "I'm sorry. It's something I had to do, to fufill my duty as the noble gothic Mary Sue."

Satan sobbed. "I love you Ebony."

"I love you too. I'll...I'll see you in hell." I mumbled, already finding my surroundings fading to black.

B'loody Mary Smith suddenly popped into the room for no apparent reason. She frowned when she realized the room was oddly quiet, but at the sight of Ebony's lifeless body, she screamed. Her face became pale with horror. She screamed for the healers, Dumbledore, McGonagall, and every single gothic person she could think of.

Suddenly, a glow started to surround the body of Ebony. Everyone stared in shock. Her body started to lift ever so slowly, and then, to everyone's shock, it started to incinerate.

When everyone realized what was happening, they rushed over to try to rescue the body, but it was too late; the Sue became nothing more than a pile of ashes.

A loud resounding of everyone bellowing "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO...!" filled the room.

A flash of white light from the ashes then started to bounce around the room. Everyone cowered in fear and was temporarily blinded. When it was all over, things changed.

All the silly goth clothes dropped from everyone's bodies (AN/I will refuse to explain how the hell that happened.) and, in their place, clothes the characters would normally wear in canon appeared on their bodies.

When everyone got over the shock of becoming free of the gothic power, everybody cheered. Everyone started singing 'Ding dong the sue is dead...' Well, that is, until all the Harry Potter characters realized the true implications of becoming more canon like again.

All the characters who were supposed to be dead fell to the floor, their bodies cold and lifeless. Harry and Voldemort started dueling. On the left side of the two, the battle of the Light Side and the Dark Side were reaching a climax.

And, because the replacement author also likes to screw around with canon, Draco and B'loody fled the scene and got married.

Meanwhile, down in hell, Ebony shed a single tear because of her current situation. A situation that would live on for all eternity. Or at least until the end of fanfiction time.

She lost it all, but she knew she had to remain strong. Nothing would ever break her down.

She looked down over her pale body and frowned. "Where are my emo clothes?" she asked herself in confusion.

And then it occured to her - for her shirt, she was wearing a bright pink polo with a little seagull on the (right or left? I can't remember) side. Below that, she was wearing a denim miniskirt with the "destroyed" look on it. Paired underneath that skirt were leggings with a little moose at the bottom. And then Ebony realized, on her shoulder, she was carrying a pretty bag with an eagle on it that said Live Your Life written all over the bag.

Ebony supressed the urge to scream. Here she was decked out in clothes prep to the extreme wearing stuff from Abercrombie and Fitch, American Eagle, AND Hollister.

Panicked, Ebony hastily tried to take off the Hollister polo, but underneath it, there was another Hollister polo underneath. Ebony frowned, and looked under her shirt. All she saw was a bra underneath (dare I point out it's from the Aerie line available at American Eagle?). Ebony tried to remove the shirt again. But to her frustration, there was yet again another polo to replace it.

"THIS IS ILLOGICAL!" Ebony bellowed out to the air. She failed to see the irony in her statement, how hypocritical her words were, seeing as she was practically calling the kettle black here.

Ebony slit her writs and mumbled to herself, "Oh my god."

I woke up in the Nurse's office on a special gothic coffin. Hagrid was in the bed opposite me in a coma because Vampire and Draco had beat him up. Mr. Norris was cleaning the room.

"Oh my satan, what happened!" I screamed. Suddenly Voldemort came. He looked less mean than usual.

"Get the fuck out you fucking bastard!" I yelled.

"Thou hath not killed Vampire yet!" he said angrily. Suddenly he started to cry tears of blood all selective.

"Voldemort? OH MY FUCKING GOD what's wrong!" I asked.

Suddenly, Lucian, Professor Sinister and Sirius came! B'loody Mary and Vampire were with them. Everyone was holding black boxes. VOLDEMORT metathesis syncope.

"OH MY FUCKING GOD Ebony you're alive!111" screamed Vampire. I hugged him and B'loody Mary.

"What the fuck happened?" I asked them. "Oh my satan! Am I like dead now?" I gasped.

"Ebony, you were almost shot!" said Sirius. "But the bullet could not kill you since you were from another time."

"But thanks anyway!" said Lucian, holding out his arm. I gasped. He had two arms!

"OH MY GOD I can't believe Vampire's dad shot you!" I gasped.

"Well, to be honest, Snape was possessed by Snape back then." said James.

"Yeah, he was a spy." Sirius said sadly. "He was really a Death Dealer."

"And he was such a fucking poser too!" said Lucian. "He didn't even really know who GC were until I told him." Well anyway, everyone started to give me presents. I was opening a black box with red 666's (there was a DVD of The Corpse Bride in it) on it when I gasped. Mr. Norris looked up angrily because he hated goths.

"Hey, has anyone fucking seen Draco?" I asked gothically.

"No, Draco told me he would be watching House of Wax." said Professor Trelawney. "He doesn't know that you're better. Anyway, the nurse said you could get up. Come on!"

I got up suicidally. Lucian, Sirius and Professor Sinister left. I was wearing a black leather nightgown. Under that I had on a sexy black leather bra trimmed with black lace, with a matching thong that said gothic girl on the butt and sexy fishnets that kind of hooked onto my thong (if you don't get the idea message me, I'll tell you). I put on a black fishnet top under a black MCR t-shirt, a black leather miniskirt with black lace and Converse shoes. I left the hospital's wings with B'loody Mary, Willow and Vampire.

"OH MY FUCKING GOD lets celebrate!" gasped Willow.

"We can go see House of Wax with Draco!" giggled Vampire.

"Let's go listen to GC and cut ourselves!" said B'loody. We opened the common room door sexily. And then, I gasped. Draco was there doing it with Snape! He was wearing a black t-shirt with 666 on the front and baggy jeans.

"You fucking prep!" we all yelled angrily.

"Yeah, you betrayed us!" shouted Vampire angrily as he took out his black gun.

"No, you don't understand!" screamed Draco sadly as he took his thingie out of Snape's.

"No shit you fucking suck you preppy bastard!" said Willow trying to attack him (you rock girl!). I ran suicidally to my room. I sexily took a stake out.

"Ebony no!" screamed Draco but it was too late, I had slit my wrists with it and suddenly everything went black again.

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